Saints coach praying for a deadly hurricane

With his New Orleans Saints off to a rough 0-2 start, Coach Sean Payton is calling upon Mother Nature to give them a lift.

“Ma’am, if you have a horrific, history-making hurricane in you, now’s the time,” Payton said during his Monday press conference. “I mean, I’d prefer it hit Baton Rouge so that the deaths hit home, yet we don’t have to move out of the Superdome, but I’ll take anything you got at this point because I got nothing.”

Drew Brees is sitting on a feeble 66.4 quarterback rating and Reggie Bush is playing like a 21st-century Eric Metcalf, causes that can be directly attributed to the Saints not having anything to rally around.

“This is rough, man,” said running back Deuce McAllister. “If I could have the Dome reopen every game, I would. That got us off to a nice start last year.”

Other ideas Payton and the Saints marketing team have on the table to reverse the Black and Gold’s ways include running pulse-quickening scenes from “K-Ville” on the center video board and conducting pregame jazz funerals with Michael Vick’s body in the casket.

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