Truck enthusiast: This super-long antenna makes my awesome truck really, really awesome

COMMENTARY | Butch Birmingham

Look at this truck. It’s awesome. Now picture it without the 20-foot antenna I just bought. Not nearly as awesome, is it?

The antenna completes my F150, or as I call it, my F1Awesome. It runs the entire length of the truck, hangs over the end of the bed, nicks the ground and kicks up sparks, but who gives a damn? It’s long and it picks up every station in the county, crystal clear. If it gets sparks on your car, your car’s probably queer.

People ask me, “Couldn’t you get all the stations in clear before?” Course I could. That ain’t the damn point. The point is to get the stations in even more clear and make this truck look even more awesome.

Now that I’ve had this baby installed, the truck has everything: the long, awesome antenna, the Steelers logo sticker, the sticker that says “I’m not speedin’, I’m qualifyin’”, the American flag thermal sticker that covers my awesome truck’s back window, and the totally awesome sticker of a little blond kid pissing all over the number 24.

That little guy is awesome. He should be in the funnies.

Man, do I hate Jeff Gordon!

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