With Merv and Rizzuto gone, Hernandez,
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Knowing full well that celebrities that were part of Seinfeld’s nine-season run die in threes, Keith Hernandez announced today that he’s staying away from any risky activity for the time being.

“I’ll still call Mets games, but I may cut back on the moustache trimming,” said Hernandez. “It may be a work of art, but it’s a bristly work of art and trimming it isn’t the safest thing in the whole world.”

Hernandez’s fear stems from the deaths this week of Merv Griffin and Phil Rizzuto.

On Seinfeld, one of Griffin’s talk show sets was taken out of a Dumpster and set up in Kramer’s apartment. George’s keychain likeness of the Scooter, meanwhile, was buried in a New York street during pothole repair.

The Yuckraker also caught up with the real Soup Nazi, Al Yeganeh of Al’s Soup Kitchen in Manhattan, who told us he plans to serve only chilled cucumber soup and Vichisoisse for a while so that he doesn’t get burned. He also told us to get the hell out of his store.

Phone messages left for George Steinbrenner and Racquel Welch were not immediately returned.

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