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Uterus of the woman who just had kid No. 17: Jesus, enough!

COMMENTARY | Uterus of the woman who just had her 17th kid

Alright, this was cute the first 16 times, but after holding your 17th kid for nine months, and now not having him in there, I’ve got to tell you: Just fucking stop already.

Do you know how I feel in there? Just picture Tony Conigliaro’s face and you’ll get an idea.

For most normal women, the non-pregnant uterus is about the size of a plum. I’m the size of Tony Gwynn. I mean, that last baby shot out of you like Brian Urlacher bowled him down a Slip ‘n’ Slide.

You know those tubes that are connected to me? Feel free to get them tied. Seriously, how much more joy would another kid provide at this point? When do the diminishing returns kick in?

Shit, get his tube tied, for all I care. Just get something tied, for fuck’s sake.

Has this become some sort of game now? Are you just waiting for Oprah or Ellen to call you up and say you’re getting a new house and a new bus?

Come on. I hurt.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 6th, 2007 at 5:30 am and is filed under commentary, satire, comedy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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